SQUASH SHOTS XVI

The “Mickies” Awards for 2013

2013 saw record numbers on our squash courts. Cries for more courts resonated throughout the hallways and locker rooms, along with the cries for more beer, and just the flat out crying when some of you would lose your league match. Wiping up spilt tears is just one of my duties as squash pro, as is making sure I share with the entire planet the best of the best of the best photos that have come my way in the past 12 months. It is said that you shouldn’t laugh at anyone unless you can laugh at yourself. Thankfully, I find myself indisputably hilarious, so I have every right poking fun at you with this year’s winners of the 2013 Mickies…

The “Chip(s) off the Old Block” award goes to… John Rakolta and George Kordas! 

Which is George, which
one is JR?

First came the “Murderers Row” from the New York Yankees. Then the “Steel Curtain” out of Pittsburgh. Now, we have the “Blue Chips” from central Detroit. Self proclaimed, the “Blue Chips” (Ooooh, scary!) got together on a whim and joined forces on the doubles court for this year’s DAC Classic. They did remarkably well considering their total lack of experience losing 17-16 in the 5^th in the semi final on a controversial double bounce call. The matching tracksuits are a serious fashion statement (that screams “I have no idea”) and I have to admit when I heard the name “Blue Chips” for the first time, my mind went immediately to the 1970’s tv show “CHiPS” with the 2 motorcycle cops. Anyone see any similarities?

The “State the Obvious” award goes to… Patrick Petz!

During the Cross Border Challenge, Patrick Petz decided to announce to the world his true feelings in the form of this easy to read t-shirt. I mean, who doesn’t feel the same way? Even our old Mayor, Kwame Kilpatrick, was apparently way ahead of his time when his love for the aforementioned was so uncontrollable it cost him his political career and 28 years of his life… Oh, sorry, that wasn’t quite the same thing… Anyway, Detroit has fell head over heels for Bush, but let’s all hope he doesn’t get overused and get mixed up with the tight-ends and wide-receivers - he does catch a lot of balls though! In fact, we are very blessed in this wonderful city of ours since we all love Johnston as well. Go Lions!

The “Vogue” award goes to… Liz McClure!

“Ladies with an attitude
Fellows that were in the mood
Don't just stand there, let's get to it
Strike a pose, there's nothing to it… Vogue” (Song “Vogue” by Madonna)

Liz goes retro. After dominating the women’s category at the Windsor tournament in March, she captured her moment in the spotlight with a perfect pose of her killer forehand volley! I am surprised I haven’t seen this magic pic on the front covers of all the sports and fashion magazines. Notice the racquet preparation, the left arm counter-balance, eyes on the... well, eyes staring into space, good balance, and nice pink outfit that even Sante would be proud to wear. All that is missing is the fact she isn’t actually on the court. Liz is currently studying in Lansing but we hope to see her back on our courts shortly where she could impress us with some more Madonna moves.

  

The “You’re My Hero” award goes to… Matt DiDio!

“Faster than a Phil Pitters crosscourt drop… More powerful than a Joe Bobzin overhead serve… Able to leap up and almost reach a Jerry Rock lob in a single bound… Look! There on the squash court! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No! It’s… it’s… it’s some member in blue and red spandex that appears to have enormous underpants!” I’m not sure what the big ‘S’ signifies on his chest, but let’s go with ‘Squash’, shall we? Superman was the Superhero of all Superheroes: strength, he could fly, indestructible… nothing could harm him except a geologist with a glowing rock. I think we have now all discovered his other hidden weakness: unable to escape the flash of a camera. Back in my day, Halloween costumes were supposed to be scary. Well, thanks to Matt for going old school here and frightening the bejeezus out of all of us.

We are in fact very happy to have Matt DiDio in our DAC squash community. He is a great supporter of the squash program. I do have to wonder though, why the beanie?

The “Clowning Around” award goes to… Kevin Prather and Brian Bartes!

Slipping on banana peels. Throwing cream pie into each other’s faces. Squirting water from flowers. Jamming 30 of your friends into a mini-car. Kevin and Brian apparently have very special skills, as they boldly showcased during the 2013 Detroit Thanksgiving parade! Deep down, I think we all knew what their true calling was. It was just a matter of time before they came out of the make-up salon adorned like Bozo. Kevin and Brian however, are hardly the same jokers on the court – both of them have been working hard on their games and are consistently improving. So don’t get caught out with their antics here, otherwise they’ll be slapping their racquet sticks around and the only ones with the red noses will be you!